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10 THINGS DUBAI HAS TAUGHT ME SO FAR

learning, life, people, travel, Uncategorized, vlog, writing, , , , , , ,

It’s Tuesday! And the first Tuesday of every month this year I will publish a Top Ten list of some sort. Let’s see how this goes …

Being away from home, especially when traveling solo and especially for long periods of time, provides an awesome opportunity to learn new things. Mind you, most are things you could have learned at home too, but sometimes it takes a new environment or a new experience for a lesson to really hit home. Here are a few that have found their way into my consciousness since I came to the UAE.

 

1. Language doesn’t have to be a barrier.

The UAE is officially an Arabic-speaking country, with English commonly used as the language of business. With roughly 80% of the population being expats from some other country, you can hear dozens of languages being spoken, including every accent and dialect of English imaginable. Knowing how long it took me to become even somewhat functional in the French language, I have so much admiration for people who have perfected or are learning English (which is a VERY difficult language to learn), and true respect for everyone who has ever packed up and moved to a place where their mother tongue is not commonly spoken.
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This lesson has also taught me more about the power of music; the amount of people worldwide who know the lyrics to an iconic song by The Eagles or Bob Marley, even if they speak very little English, is mind-boggling.

 

2. You can miss someone even as you’re talking to or seeing them.

This one surprised me a bit — the last time I spent any significant amount of time away from home was in 2008, and I didn’t have Skype but I was physically close enough for about 10 of my family members to come visit me midway through the trip. I figured homesickness would be an obstacle during this Dubai gig, especially during the holidays, but sometimes it goes deeper than “I wish I could hear this person’s voice” and “I wish I could show them what I did today” … Sometimes, even as you’re looking at their face and hearing their voice and commenting on one another’s Facebook pictures, all you’re thinking is “I wish I could give this person a hug. Right now.”

Nothing beats in-person contact. Case in point: my godson.

Nothing beats in-person contact. Case in point: my godson.

Don’t get me wrong, Skype is awesome! But there really is something magical about being able to share the same physical space as a friend or family member. Makes me think I should plan some kind of big party when I get back to the T.Dot =)

3. Remain grateful.

Now is a good time for this reminder — there will always be something to complain about, and there will always be something to be grateful for. Focus on the latter (unless you want more things to complain about; then focus on those instead and watch them multiply.) Much more here than at home, I wake up and am immediately reminded that it’s a better use of my energy to focus on the many amazing things about my life, right now and in general, than the things that aren’t exactly to my liking. Especially when you don’t have to look too far to find someone who would gladly trade their troubles for yours (I blogged a bit about this here, at Christmastime).

In fact, it’s interesting to list some things that really stressed you out at one time in your life, now that you’ve reached a vantage point where you can see how unimportant those things really were. I had to stay in a hotel overnight in Montreal once on my way home from Haïti because the plane left Port-au-Prince too late to catch my connecting flight, and when I got there they wouldn’t let me use my dinner voucher … oh, boo hoo! It’s almost embarrassing now to remember how much I groaned and complained about that.

 

4. Go ahead, try a new dish.

Most of us love food, but lots of us are scared to eat something we’ve never eaten before, or something we find difficult to pronounce, or something we don’t know the name of at all. There are things on offer here that I don’t want and may never eat (like mussels … ew), but I’m proud to say I did start sampling new things right away. Like ful medames (pictured), and malva pudding, and millefeuille, and these little pastries with ground-up pistachio and sugar and cinnamon that are heavenly once I pick out the raisins with my fork.
fulYou never know when you’ll get a chance again, so take a lot of chances.

 

5. Go ahead, try a new drink.

Whoa! Some people get really, really attached to their favourite cocktail or brand of beer. While I am not the worst example of this, I have always been a hardcore piña colada girl (just ask the bar staff in the lounge where I sing, they tease me about it weekly). And yet, the other day I was cajoled into trying something called a mint splash, a milky minty green cocktail that reminds me of the Shrek McFlurry at McDonald’s awhile back. Love it!

Not sure why all the images I'm seeing online are white or brown; mine was green =)

Not sure why all the images I’m seeing online are white or brown; mine was green =)

I also tried the newest drink offered by KFC in mall food courts out there: a mojito that has no liquor and tastes like a hybrid of Sprite a 7-Up with real mint leaves in the cup. Weird? Yes. And I didn’t really like it. But at least I tried it =)

6. It is acceptable, even admirable, to take a nap every day.

Back at home, my attitude toward naps was back and forth between “Naps are awesome and I totally deserve one today” and “Napping?! Who has time for that?!” But when I got here, jet lag kicked my butt and a nap a day became my new normal (sometimes 2; 9 hours ahead is no joke!).

Napping in the sun? Don't mind if I do ...

Napping in the sun? Don’t mind if I do …

Besides, my main job here is to sing; just my luck, when I’m tired, you can hear it in my voice. Plus 6 nights of the week my shows wrap up around 12:30, with me often being too keyed up to go to sleep until 2am, and sleeping in would mean missing breakfast — so naps are imperative, no matter how much the more seasoned musicians tease me! Your schedule may not be as funny as this, but for real, if you aren’t making time to rest once in a while, you are doing a disservice to you and everyone involved with you or your work.

7. Establish a routine.

While we’re talking about daily naps, we might as well discuss other good dailies. I say aim for at least 3 things that you do every single day, without exception, which are helpful to you. 3 of mine are praying, doing my simple floor exercises, and writing something.

DSC07672There have been times when my list of dailies exceeded 12 activities, and feeling like you’re your own drill sergeant can be kind of miserable sometimes, so I eased up a bit. But when you start with 3, it takes less time than you think to get into the routine of doing those 3 things every single day. Then you can start to add in more. Whatever your goal is, I am willing to bet that the people who have achieved it already did so by focusing on their daily activities, no matter how mundane it seemed at the time. Routine is important.

8. Dash it away once in awhile.

Because breaking from the routine is important too! That’s why there are vacations and PA days; veering away from the routine, for some needed rest or for something spontaneous and fun, is also necessary.

Being in a situation where I get one day off per week, I’ve been making the most of each day off. I laze around at the beach. Or I catch up on chores. Or I shop and sightsee and attempt to get into Tyrese Gibson’s birthday party and get home after 5am. (Yeah, that was a really good day off, lol!)

dec29.009You know what they say about all work and no play … So change it up every now and then. =)

9. Whatever you wish, believe or have been told your area of work is, your primary business is connecting with people.

Honestly. Can you give massages better than anyone else in the world? No one will call you their favourite masseuse if you do so with a scowl or with dirty hands. Likewise, if your architect designed a gorgeous house but it was different from what you’d commissioned them to do, you might not be too happy about it.

Two of our awesome bar staff, Sumesh and Dony! I'm too much of an alcohol novice to comment on their bartending skills but I know they make the experience enjoyable! (This is them jumping up to Hot Hot Hot - made me so happy!)

Two of our awesome bar staff, Sumesh and Dony! I’m too much of an alcohol novice to comment on their bartending skills but I know they make the experience enjoyable! (This is them jumping up to Hot Hot Hot – made me so happy!)

All skills are important in pretty much every field of work, and that includes communication and other social skills; and I’m starting to realize how little of that was taught in school. When you throw language differences into the mix, it becomes even more important to connect and communicate with people.

 10. Learn about yourself.

Have you noticed how many people seem to pride themselves on knowing a lot about someone else? Sometimes the someone else is a person who they will never even meet. For example, it worries me when a parent knows who all the celebrities are dating and marrying and divorcing this year, but is unaware of what’s going on in their own home. I really recommend taking the time to learn or rediscover things about yourself, whether you ever feel the need to share those discoveries with someone else or not. Here’s one thing I found about me: I am happy when people come together and sad when people separate. (Deep down I always knew that, but again, being here helps crystallize a few things.)

Jacuzzi journalling. I need to do this more often.

Jacuzzi journalling. I need to do this more often.

So there you have it!  My first Top Ten Things blog of 2014. I’d love your feedback, either here or at www.facebook.com/chattrisse or www.twitter.com/chattrisse or even www.youtube.com/seechattrisse … And to be added to my mailing list, please send an email to chattrisse@gmail.com with MAILING LIST in the subject line. Bye for now!

This top cost me $1. Yes, $1. And these headshots will be viewed a bazillion times!

Your Wallet can Thank Me Later

learning, life, money, , , , , ,

I’m about to do something rare: I’m going to give you some financial advice.

I know. What? Does she have any background in that? Not really, although I’ve been reading some awesome books on it. But as far back as 2009, I’ve been sharing this one rule with people who promptly laugh at me, then stop to think about it, and usually end up telling me it really works. It is one of the tools I am using to become free of consumer debt by March 3, 2016. (Now you all have to hold me accountable to that goal, okay? Thanks!)

When you want something but you’re not sure if you should buy it, there are many tried-and-true methods to determine whether to get it or forget it.

David Chilton, author of The Wealthy Barber, suggests stopping to figure out how many hours it took you to earn the price of the thing you want, and ask yourself if it’s worth that much of your time. Rapper Xzibit said in an interview for VIBE Magazine that if you can’t buy three of whatever it is you’re considering, you shouldn’t buy it, and I think that’s brilliant (yes, even for huge purchases like houses).

Where the hours-to-buy-this rule fails me is that my cash flow is often sporadic, things like royalties and residuals make it hard to say what my hourly wage is, and many of my purchases are things that contribute to my money-earning capacity. Xzibit’s rule is awesome for medium and large price tags, but when the small buys add up — “Oh, these earrings are only $9.95 a pair, of course I can afford three” — you can be fooled into thinking you’re a smart spender when you’re really bleeding to death by pennies.

So what do I do? I look at the price and forecast how many times I’m going to use the thing. The amount of times I will (not might) use it needs to be equal to or greater than the amount of dollars I pay. (NOTE: I realized after writing and editing this piece that Gail Vaz-Oxlade, whose work I admire, has touched on this rule and published it before I did. But my version of the rule, while similar, is better *sticking my tongue out* so keep reading! And if you’re familiar with Gail’s “‘how much per use’ calculation” keep reading anyway, because I’d love to hear how you think this stacks up against it.)

A dollar per use. It’s so simple, but it works. Say there’s an all-white party coming up and I see a gorgeous white clutch. It’s on sale for $19.99 and there’s no tax. Should I get it?

“Well, I’ll wear it to tomorrow night’s party for sure. And maybe to one more all-white thing this summer, and I have a couple of other outfits it could go with” … If I cannot see myself using it 20 times before it gets dirty, lost, ruined, whatever, it goes back on the shelf.

This blouse is a great example. It cost me less than $25 and I’ve worn it to numerous meetings, at least 2 auditions, at least 2 dates, at least 2 performances, a news taping, a party (probably more than one), a family reunion, plus literally countless other times. And I still love it!

Not only does this curb impulse shopping, it helps you focus on quality over quantity of stuff. Shopping for fall boots on a budget? Don’t get the adorable expensive suede ones, because you can’t wear them on wet or muddy days and they’ll be back in the closet before you know it. Shopping for winter boots instead? Here in Toronto, you can easily wear those 100 times in a year, so you don’t have to be as frugal — especially if they’re good enough (waterproof, warm, comfortable, the heel doesn’t wear down easily, etc) to last you several winters. If you’re buying a new piece of equipment, seriously considering how many times you’ll use it before you upgrade again. It might be worth getting the better model now, especially if you make money with it and you’ll soon receive from it more money than you paid to get it.

Honestly, how many of you have closets full of clothes you’ve only worn once, drawers full of gadgets you never use, things you bought to go with other things that ended up just draining your bank account? Stop it. Your money is worth more than that.

If you’re shopping for children, I advise using this rule even more. Sure it’s back-to-school season and everybody wants new stuff, but will she grow out of that jacket before she wears it enough times to make it worth the purchase? He asked for this game for his birthday, but does he tend to get bored with new games after a week and never play them again? We’re all going to spend and we’re all going to shop, but if we do it more carefully we can feel better about it after.

I’m a big fan of dollar stores, especially since adopting my rule. Most things there work just as well as their other-store counterparts. When my designer classes case got really beat-up from living in my purse, I found a new one at Dollarama. Cost: $1.13, taxes in. Uses: 760 and counting.

As with all rules, there is an exception. When pictures are going to be taken, or video, you have no way of measuring how many people will see you wearing or using that purchase, so go nuts. I plan on getting married once; I don’t expect to find a wedding dress for $1. But I think you’ll find if you use my rule regularly, you’ll also get better at not going over-the-top when it comes to your other spending.

Let’s look at this pic again. The top cost me $1. Yes, one dollar. And these headshots will be viewed a bazillion times!

Now, my dollar-per-use rule does have a serious flaw when it comes to buying food and buying experiences — clearly most meals are only eaten once (although I adore leftovers) and I don’t have the knowledge or the desire to figure out how many different muscles and organs will “use” a plate of food; and how am I supposed to know whether the trip to Puerto Rico will be worth that special sale price? These are times when David Chilton and Xzibit’s rules will probably serve you best.

But I do advocate this from years of personal experience. The amount of times you will use it should be equal to or greater than the amount of dollars you pay. (Convert from other currencies if necessary, lol.) Try it out for yourself and let me know how it goes!