Tag Archives: growing up

29 THINGS TO TELL MY 10-YEARS-AGO SELF

April 21, 2015Uncategorizedactor, adult, advice, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, dance, family, friends, fun, growing up, learning, lessons, life, money, music, performer, singer, success, teenager, travel, wisdom, writerChattrisse

I’m in the last year of my twenties, which means I think I’m a lot wiser than I really am. Recently … thanks mostly to Throwback Thursdays, the Crash Course educational series on YouTube, and the work of playwright Jose Rivera … I started wondering what my current, past and future selves might say to one another if they all met somehow, and I compiled this list of things I would love to go back in time and say to myself at the end of my teens. I wouldn’t answer any of her obvious questions (No, you really shouldn’t get back together with him; Yes, you’ll be able to pay your way through school, so relax) because, hey, there are some lessons she needs to learn the hard way. Also, to keep things interesting, I would purposely not divulge which parent will move overseas, when and where and why I get tattooed, or how much (or is it how little?) I weigh in spring 2015.

Here are 29 pieces of advice for the 2005 edition of myself, delivered with lots of love and a steupse or two.

1. Look for “flaws” in your character, not your appearance.

2. What you do when no one is watching matters even more than you already know.

3. The sooner you acknowledge the power of your words, the better things will be.

4. It is possible to create great art from a happy place.

5. You have the best dad ever too.

6. Practice being quicker to get over disappointments and slower to roll your eyes.

7. I love that you take so many pictures, but you don’t need to have double copies of all of them. (Also, since we’re on the subject: in one of the pictures up top, if not both, you are actually 18. You took so many that year there weren’t many to pick from the year after. But it’s all good, because your looks haven’t changed much since you were 2.)

8. Figure out how to control your emotions, and your imagination, or else they will control you.

9. When it comes to money, pay more attention to the direction than the amount.

10. Also, go out of your way to learn more about finances than what you’re being told.

11. Asking for help does get easier.

12. Saying goodbye gets easier too.

13. Letting go after saying goodbye will probably get easier. One day. I hope.

14. Soon you’ll come across this thing called Facebook, and I applaud your decision to hold out for awhile. But get on the Instagram bandwagon quickly.

15. Never stop dancing.

16. Singing will take you further than you think. Feel free to interpret that literally.

17. Don’t worry that you’re too old to get back into acting.

18. Don’t worry that you’re too old for anything.

19. Don’t worry. At all.

20. Take your own eighth-grade advice: Travel, travel, travel! (You remember why you said that, right? Good.)

21. Being single can be sexy. And “sexy” has a greater and better meaning than you realize right now.

22. Go clubbing a lot over the next little while; you’ll get tired of it pretty soon.

23. Experiences > possessions.

24. Classics > hits.

25. American men will always be a thing.

26. Take your time figuring out where you stand on religion and spirituality.It is nobody’s business but your own.

27. The only difference between a valley and a hill is your perspective.

28. I am extremely proud of you.

29. You are going to love what comes next.

10 REASONS 2014 ROCKED

December 3, 2014Uncategorizedactor, art, artist, beach, blog, cast, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, desert, Dubai, family, film, fly boarding, friends, fun, growing up, music, original, party, performer, recap, shopping, singer, soca, song, success, time, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday, Toronto, travel, writerChattrisse

Sometimes, quotes that go viral are bang on. Like this one:

So, full disclosure, spoiler alert, be warned! For this, my final Top Ten Tuesday (maybe ever . . . maybe just for the year 2014), I am choosing to focus only on my highlight reel. I encourage you to do the same as you reflect on that year that’s ending and the new one coming up. Here are 10 of my favourite memories from 2014 . . . they started out in chronological order but you’ll see why that didn’t last long. Enjoy!

1. DUBAI, AKA THE FIRST 5 MONTHS OF THE YEAR

This is not a copout, you guys. If I tried to count and categorize my favourite individual moments from my stay in Jebel Ali, I would never ever ever finish writing this. I mean, really, which was more memorable: fly boarding, or ascending the Burj Khalifa? Swimming in salt water, or strutting in heels? Organizing photoshoots, or creating videos? Shopping for new clothes or chopping new men?

Suffice it to say that my entire trip there, especially from January 1st until early June when I came back home, will ever be forgotten.

2. FAM JAMS

And when I did come back? Family reunions galore! A roti picnic on my mom’s birthday, my cousin Derek’s wedding in Ottawa, a Thanksgiving feast in London, ON (with STUFFING!!! WHY was that so hard to find in Dubai???), reunions with cousins I rarely see even when I am home.

I gave and received many bone-crushing hugs, and I loved every squeeze.

3. MEETING 5 NEW BABY COUSINS

Reunions are one thing; meeting and holding a new baby for the first time is, like, next-level awesome. And I was blessed with 5 (yep, 5) new baby cousins this year. In birth order: Carter, Amaya, Quinton, Iyla, Adalia.

Baby bliss!!!

4. GETTING BACK INTO AUDITIONING

And not just because I booked one or two roles! But the whole process, which used to feel really stressful to me, is getting more and more fun.

Pre-audition selfie … last chance to check my eyeshadow ;-)

Shoutouts to the people booking the roles I didn’t =)

5. FRIEND-LY REUNIONS

Every coffee date or breakfast date or jerk chicken date with a friend I hadn’t seen in months and months was a heartbeat for me. I’m especially grateful for the CAMO Cruise, my reintroduction to Toronto’s fête society, where I cruised across Lake Ontario with good people and good music and good drinks (and okay food, lol) and thought to myself, “Man, do I love this city.” (Thanks, Nish!!!)

Nish, Dija and me!

Likewise, the day after the Caribana parade, some friends and I went to a day party that gave me so much life I’ve run out of words for it. Amazing music (shoutouts to hometown hero DJ Starting from Scratch and DJ Dany Neville, from Dubai, who I finally met here in Toronto!), pretty venue, awesome people, new and old friends, randomly running into my cousin Kari . . . vibes. Loved it. (Thanks, Lincoln!)

Clockwise from the gorgeous blond-tipped curly fro, lol: Tiff, Shana, me, Nish. DJ Dany Neville is at work in the corner

Clockwise from the gorgeous blond-tipped curly fro, lol: Tiff, Shana, me, Menisha. DJ Dany Neville is at work in the corner

And let me not forget the wedding of my homegirl Allison, who I’ve known since tenth grade, to the ultra-cool Derwyn . . . I’ll just leave this picture here because with words, I literally can’t.

Love y’al!

6. CREATING MY OWN ROUTINE

Overseas, my routine was determined by my work hours and the times that the buffet was open. Here at home, it took me awhile to settle back in, and there are still some days that get crazy, but at least I have control over the first hour or so after I wake up and the last few minutes before I go to bed. Carving out time every day to read and write and express gratitude, and even to YouTube sermons, has made a huge difference. It might be the least exciting thing on this list, but it’s for sure going to be one of the most beneficial, long-term.

7. RELAUNCHING MY SIDE HUSTLE

Spending the first chunk of the year overseas, in some ways it was like an extended vacation. But to be honest, there were times when it felt a bit like exile. This was especially true when it came to my beauty/health/wellness business, and it was a relief to jump back in with my colleagues and my appointment lists, and some sweet new products, when I got back.

Onward, to ENVP!

8. REALIZING THE POWER OF VISION BOARDS

You can read all about it here, but from here on out I will be even more mindful of how powerful these things are, as material declarations. I mean, really. Wow.

9. SHOOTING THE AALIYAH BIOPIC

What an experience! Everything about this for me, from the audition process to the backlash, was important and I’m grateful for every second. But what makes it onto this list, for me, is actually being on set for this project.

#90s. The first scene

Set life. L to R: James Shipp, Izaak Smith, Alexandra Shipp, AJ Saudin, me

The environment and the goal and the people, especially the people, had me really really wishing that somehow I could have stayed on set longer. As in, I would have gone on set every day just to watch and be a part of it from behind the scenes (I did, actually, on one day). Thanks to everyone involved; much love!

10. UNSCENE

Ah, my baby. For those of you who don’t know, I’m developing a new TV show called unSCENE and this year it grew from just a pilot episode to a pilot, the finale, plus several other episodes written, numerous meetings and pitch sessions, and now (shhh, this is insider info) possibly a casting change that will turn everything I’ve already written on its head.

L to R: Sagine Semajuste, Kelsey Willmott, Jazz Testolini, Kerron Schullere, Chattrisse Dolabaille, JaNae Armogan

Queens Quay. L to R: Sagine Semajuste, Kelsey Willmott, Jazz Testolini, Kerron Schullere, me, JaNae Armogan

Frustrating as it’s been sometimes to take care of this finicky, fussy, slow-growing project, I love it and I’m looking forward to sharing it with more of you.

And that . . . is a wrap. I have this policy where every year should be better than the year that just passed, so if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do in advance of 2015!

ABOUT A YEAR AGO

November 28, 2014Uncategorizedactor, art, artist, blog, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, Dubai, family, friends, fun, growing up, money, music, recap, singer, soca, song, success, time, travel, writerChattrisse

It’s the evening of November 27th, 2014. I am reading a library book, editing a blog entry, messing around with lyrics for a new song, playing soca in my head, wondering why my back hurts on one side, and contemplating going to the kitchen to get a snack . . . all pretty much at the same time.

I was doing a lot of things at this time on last November 27th, too. I was at the Lester B Pearson International Airport and I was wondering what I had forgotten to pack, helping carry bags and musical instruments, joking around to keep myself from feeling nervous, celebrating the fact that the wind and snow outside had lost their power over me, taking pictures, saying goodbye to my parents, and forbidding myself to cry. I was about to leave home for my first overseas gig, to spend six months singing in Dubai.

It’s times like this that I realize, all over again, what a difference a year makes.

Here are some current-me updates, in case me-from-a-year-ago is interested. Since last November 27th, I have:

– completed the Dubai gig (153 shows done, and 52 songs written during downtime, but who’s counting?)

– met some great new and hopefully lifelong friends

– gained and lost weight

– gained and lost and gained hair length

– gained and lost a glorious Arabian tan

– developed and recovered (?) from crushes on numerous men from the UK

– tried fly boarding

– landed my first role in a feature film, gaining insight about myself and other people as I learned what it feels like to be the subject of criticism in the big wide world of social media

– been blessed by the arrivals of 5 (!) new baby cousins and joined several of my friends in welcoming their new babies too

– married off one of my dearest friends; this time a year ago she and her husband weren’t even engaged yet

– made lots of progress in the creation and development of a new TV series

– paid off a significant amount of my personal debt

– successfully relaunched my online beauty/health/wellness business, and found some new outlets for my skills as a writer/blogger and editor while continuing to create and go to auditions

That list looks pretty good to me! Heading into this American Thanksgiving weekend, I’m reminded again of how much I have to give thanks for in just the last year alone. Now, let’s see what other tricks 2014 has up its sleeve . . . =)

10 AWESOME THINGS MY PARENTS GAVE ME

November 4, 2014Uncategorizedblog, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, dad, Daddy, desert, family, father, fun, growing up, mom, Mommy, mother, music, parents, singer, song, success, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday, travel, vacationChattrisse

One of the nicest arguments I’ve ever been a part of occurred on set this summer, with a hairstylist and a makeup artist. This was a mature, respectful version of “my mom/dad is cooler than your mom/dad, nah nah nah boo boo!” So, for this month’s edition of Top Ten Tuesday, I’m listing the reasons why I will win this contest against anyone, anytime. With the omission of some of obvious gifts, like long fingers and specific words of wisdom and height (#irony), here is a list of things my parents gave me that prove they totally rock.

1. GOOD GENES

I definitely use great products, and I do my best to get reasonable amounts of sleep, and both of these habits help keep me youthful and fabulous. But honestly, I got some really good DNA too! The first thing people notice about my mother and father is how young they look.

Dad and I at TIFF 2014

Mom and I at a cousin’s wedding, September 2014

I am eternally grateful to them for passing these genes on to their offspring, as evinced in the fact that someone canvassing me for a donation to TVO last weekend had to stop and ask if I’m 18 yet.

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2. MUSICAL TALENT

Music runs in my veins on both sides. From my parents (a drummer and singer, and a flutist) to their parents and siblings and beyond, it’s in my DNA.

Dad performing at the 2009 Arcadia Showcase

My maternal grandmother even released a cassette of her original Christmas-themed Calypso songs in the 1990s.

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3. MUSICAL APPRECIATION

Nope, not a repeat of #2. I grew up on oldies. I wasn’t even allowed to decide what music I wanted to hear until I was a tween. Sure, I was last to learn any of the words to “Juicy” by Biggie Smalls, but I still know all the words to “Juicy Fruit” (which “Juicy” sampled).

Mtume was and still is the jam.

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4. EARLY AND FREQUENT EXPOSURE TO BOOKS

. . . lots of them!! I remember Mom pointing at the words in my storybooks as she read, guiding me to recognize the words instead of just hearing the sounds. I’m told that I started reading on my own at the age of 3, sounding out the word “Batman” on the back of a cereal box. Dad is forever tossing me books to read (y’know, like Roots when I was 12 years old).

My current reading situation

Leaders are readers . . . I will always be a very proud Nerd Word!

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5. INDEPENDENCE

My parents made sure I knew how to use the TTC even though most of my suburban neighbours didn’t. I started working at 15. I paid my way through university with awards and scholarships.

Jogging. In a desert. In Dubai. Alone. Why not.

There have been times I’ve wished some of the above things weren’t the case, but overall I’m so grateful.

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6. FREEDOM

Man, I never even had a curfew.

My first time taking a solo vacation; Cuba =)

My parents trusted not only me but their own parenting skills enough to trust that I would make good choices, for the most part. And, for the most part, I think they would agree that I did. Good job, Mom and Dad!

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7. YOUNG PARENTS

. . . especially in the case of Mama Dukes, who chauffeured my friends and I to and from clubs starting back when I was 14. (Relax; these were all-ages events.) My parents had me during the year they turned 22, and I felt like they were so much more relevant to and understanding of my life as a young person than most of the parents of my friends, who were older.

Honestly. They look like teenagers. YOUNG teenagers.

I did want to start having children when I was in my super-early twenties too . . . ah well, can’t win ‘em all =)

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8. THE TRAVEL BUG

Not only have my parents always encouraged me to travel, I sometimes get to travel with one of them, and sometimes they even foot the bill!

Here they are almost a year ago, seeing me off as I set out to spend 6 months in the United Arab Emirates

Ooooh, I am so glad I didn’t get parents of the “it’s a big bad scary world so stay home” variety.

9. THE BEST EXTENDED FAMILIES I COULD ASK FOR

I mean, did I win a birth lottery somehow??? I am SO blessed to be the daughter of my parents and the granddaughter of my grandparents, the niece of my aunts and uncles and the great-niece of my great-aunts and great-uncles, and the cousin of my cousins.

A rare family photo; almost all of my Mom’s mom’s family in one shot, minus the great-grandbabies =)

My only gripe about my family is that not a single one of them live even remotely near New York City. (Apparently a college professor who shares my surname is there, but we’ve never met, so . . .)

10. THE GET-OVER-IT GENE

Not that my life has been rocked by (m)any catastrophes, but one event which was painful and difficult to get over was the end of my parents’ marriage. People are constantly surprised at how well my mom and dad, who split up more than 20 years ago, get along with each other today. This was just one of the ways they taught me what to do with obstacles, challenges, “hurtful” events: get past, through, over, and/or around them.

Lesson learned, you two.

I hope I can be half as amazing when it’s my turn to raise children. <3

DREAMING BY DESIGN

October 16, 2014acting, celebration, learning, life, music, people, singing, travel, UncategorizedAaliyah, actor, advice, Alexandra Shipp, art, biopic, blog, cast, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, film, friends, fun, growing up, Lifetime, Missy Elliott, movie, music, original, performer, success, time, TVChattrisse

So last weekend I ate lots of food, saw tons of relatives, and reflected on things that have happened for me between Thanksgiving 2013 and Thanksgiving 2014.

Like 2 super-exciting gigs, for example. I got to escape winter by singing in Dubai for 6 months, then I came home for the summer and filmed my first movie role playing the young Missy Elliott in Lifetime’s Aaliyah: Princess of R&B.

Of course there’s a silver lining in every cloud and a cloud for every silver lining. The Dubai experience was awesome, but being away from family and friends for that long can be tough. Playing the part of a pop culture icon in this major project is my biggest booking so far, but it didn’t come without a certain amount of . . . let’s call it . . . character-building. =)

Now this post isn’t going to count, characterize or rehash any negative comments from the world of social media. (Although I offer a sincere “Thank You” to all those who took the time to send me encouraging messages; more than I expected! Bless up.) Nope, I’m writing this to share something that helped me keep my head up when it would have been easier to get angry or defensive or sad.

Let’s take it back to high school for a minute. As a tenth-grader at Thornhill Secondary, I had my first taste of graphic design in a course which I think was called Computer Sciences, and one project really stuck with me. Our teacher instructed each of us to Photoshop our face onto the cover of a popular magazine.

I loved the idea, and I scanned a hard copy of VIBE that I’d bought on a recent trip to the States (it was hard to find in Canada at the time).

I’d never heard of a vision board or a dream board back then, but I kept a copy of this assignment. And I almost forgot about it until years later when the “controversy” arose about me portraying Missy Elliott. You cannot imagine how encouraging it was to find that 12-year-old piece of paper and hold it in my hand. It taught me 3 really important lessons.

1. THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS

Me designing this made-up cover, and keeping it, was my way of saying to God and the universe (long before I learned about the law of intention or self-fulfilling prophecies or anything like that) that I wanted fame and fortune and photographers. I still want to be a cover girl; I would love to do so in the world of music, but if it comes about through acting or some other form of expression, I’m fine with that as well. This taught me that making and using vision/dream boards is incredibly powerful as long as you’re putting the work in too. Mind what you wish for, because if you think it enough times, you’ll end up with it somehow.

2. NEVER GIVE UP

Notice, the time lapse between my magazine assignment and the headlines for this casting was 12 years. I originally thought I’d have a record deal around the time I finished high school — HA! It would have been so easy for me to trash this printout when I realized I was headed to university instead of being the next teen pop music queen, or any of the times I auditioned/applied/submitted for a role/gig/deal and didn’t get it. Now I understand that years or even decades can go by, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get what you’re going for. It might just mean you haven’t grown enough, or learned enough, or sacrificed enough yet.

Let’s say you set your ultimate goal 20 years ago and you’re not there yet. I don’t know when you’ll make it, but if you give up, I know you won’t ever make it. And it might be right around the corner. So keep going.

3. GOD HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOUR

To be honest, my choosing that cover was a matter of convenience; it had nothing to do with Missy herself. Of course I’m a longtime fan; the woman is a legend! But it ended up as my backdrop simply because we were told to choose our favourite magazine (mine was definitely VIBE) and that was the hard copy I had to scan. Of course, the funny plot twist is that I went from replacing Missy’s face with my own to being the face of Missy in the movie. So the timeline looks like this:

June 2002 – I declare “I’m going to be on the cover of VIBE one day” by inserting my face onto VIBE’s cover and changing up the headlines to reflect my own interests and wishes.

Summer 2009 – VIBE goes out of print. I mope about my lost opportunity. Even the magazine’s later resurrection and reincarnations don’t make me feel much better. I sulk, but I keep working (duh).

June 2014 – I audition for and land the role of Missy Elliott in Lifetime’s biopic Aaliyah: Princess of R&B, and I keep an eye on social media as people speculate about the movie and about who will be playing the lead role. The majority of what I read confirms my suspicion that the public will be vocal about any casting choices they don’t like.

August 2014 – BlackFilm.com publishes a piece about the movie’s cast, announcing that I’m playing Missy. Figuring the cat’s out of the bag, I confirm via Facebook (where a bunch of people who know me are full of congratulations) and Twitter (where a bunch of people who don’t know me are full of something else). Remembering my 2002 DIY mag cover, I remind myself that I earned this role and that my job is to get up, dress up, show up, and play the part. I have an incredible time, working with amazing people — love and respect to Izaak, Alex, AJ, James, Brad, Etheline, Rose, Chris, Gisele, Joe, Michelle, Fast Eddie, and every single member of the cast and crew for making this experience as awesome as it was!

November 2014 – the movie comes out, and a new chapter begins.

I can’t wait to see what new things I’ll have to be grateful for by next Thanksgiving.

xoxo

10 THINGS I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M MISSING

May 6, 2014learning, life, people, travel, Uncategorizedbeach, blog, Canada, Canadian, Caribana, carnival, Chattrisse, Chattrisse Dolabaille, chores, cleaning, cooking, customs, Dubai, eye candy, family, fitness, friends, fun, growing up, home, homesick, hotel, jog, kitchen, laundry, lifestyle, manners, men, party, polite, rude, run, social life, summer, time, time zones, Top Ten, Top Ten Tuesday, Toronto, transit, travel, weather, workoutChattrisse

I’ve been in Dubai for just over 5 months, and I’ll be home in 28 days.

Whoa.

It was pretty much inevitable that I would compile a blog about things I miss about/from/at home, and that’s the topic for this month’s Top Ten Tuesday. However, this list is not for the obvious things: my family and friends, my cat, recognizing money instantly, leaving my bedroom without feeling compelled to cover my shoulders and (maybe) knees. This right here is a list of things I’m surprised and even embarassed to be missing.

1. The laundry room.

No, really. Taking an extended vacation from chores has been really nice, but there are some things I’ll be happy to regain control over, and one of those things is when and how my clothes are taken care of.

(I won’t be surprised if I take this wish back after about three weeks.)

2. Being on the same clock as most people I interact with.

I don’t know if you ever quite get used to being 8 or 9 hours ahead of the majority of people you know … But if it does happen, it must take much longer than 6 months for the adjustment to occur.

10am in Toronto, 6pm in Dubai

I find it surprising that this matters since so much, since most of my day-to-day communication at home is not done face-to-face (you send someone a text or Facebook message, and whenever they get around to it, they send one back), but things go a lot more smoothly when no one has to stop and wonder “what time is it there?”

3. The daily routine of taking public transit and running into people I know.

If I stayed here long enough, both would be more frequent occurrences, but as a temporary UAE resident I’ve definitely missed that feeling of “this is my city” that I have in Toronto. I’m about that downtown life: being able to walk to lots of places, knowing it’s pretty much impossible for me to get lost, not having a time limit on when I should start heading back home, etc.

Seated in a hotel shuttle bus, passing a metro station on Sheikh Zayed Road

(Note: much of this is not because I’m in a new city, but because I’m living on the outskirts, a 20-minute ride from the nearest metro station. Trains here don’t run as late into the night as the TTC, but that wouldn’t be an issue for me if I were more centrally located.)

4. Canadian manners and customs.

So apparently, holding doors open for people is not a worldwide trend. And apparently, there are numerous cultures where it is not considered offensive to make unflattering personal comments to someone you don’t know very well … Like [pointing under eyes] “You look like you didn’t sleep last night” or [placing their hand on my belly as if I’m pregnant, and giggling].

It’s taking awhile to learn to let certain things slide off my back.

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5. Eye candy.

I’ve always been boy-crazy, so I became aware of this “lack” pretty quickly. Yes, I’ve been to the Middle East before, so I knew I wasn’t going to spend this trip smeyesing and flirting with random men. But even the beach at my hotel is painfully devoid of watchworthy bodies, except for a few sweet weeks when a bunch of professional soccer teams were staying here (shoutouts to Stoke City FC!) … Meanwhile, in Toronto, the temps are heating up (right? If not, I’m not coming home) and the streets there are probably full of men who are not only eligible but damn sexy.

With Kees Dieffenthaller in December 2013. #happysigh

Fortunately, my homegirl Nish has already secured me a ticket for a boat ride on June 15th. Hot dudes reading this, if you’re coming to Camo, please just leave your shirts at home.

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6. Easy midnight snacking.

Yes, I know it’s bad, and I rarely do it. But I miss having the OPTION, lol! I’ve been doing my best to keep a small stash of maybe-healthy snacks available, like rice cakes and nuts and tea.

My Easter gift from the hotel. Sweet!

But, man, sometimes you just want to crack open those dinner leftovers or start on breakfast eight hours early. And while we’re on the subject, I also miss …

7. Cooking privileges.

Living in a hotel room has perks and pitfalls, and one of the latter is a lack of kitchen access. I have a kettle and a minibar (which I blithely assumed was a suitable substitute for a fridge, until I got food poisoning), and whatever foods or snacks or treats I choose to buy are pretty cheap, which is nice.

Dessert buffets are dangerous things.

And don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that it’s a luxury to eat at buffet restaurants staffed by professional chefs and servers three times a day! But once in awhile, I’d rather just open up a legit refrigerator, see what’s inside (especially if the groceries were bought by me) and make something I feel like eating. You know?

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8. Checking the weather without feeling guilty.

Example: Yahoo tells me the temperature at noon on May 2nd (Dubai time) was 40 degrees, while it was 8 at home (4am Toronto time). On January 2nd, Toronto was -15 degrees with a low of -20, while Dubai had a high of 24 with a low of 17. Full disclosure: sometimes I check the weather back home for a good laugh because the differences are so ridiculous.

But there have been many times I’ve considered posting a Facebook status update about the weather here, then changed my mind for fear of being met at the airport by a violent jealous mob.

9. Jogging outdoors.

I did my best! For the first few weeks I was back in workout mode, I jogged around the resort (boring) and ran up and down the stairs to and from the 7th floor (boring) and went along the desert highway outside of the resort property (enjoyable, but ultimately unsafe).

Then I gave in to common sense and I now use the exercise room at the resort’s gym. I’ve never been a fan of sharing equipment with a bunch of other people, or of staring out at scenery that doesn’t change regardless of how fast I move, so it will feel awesome to go run alongside Lake Ontario once again! (Although it won’t take long before I start missing the peacocks who sometimes pass by the gym just to say what’s up.)

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10. Having a regular social life.

“Regular” means different things to different people, and I’m past the days of finding it fun to go clubbing every weekend. But I do miss having days/nights off at the same time as other people. I really hope I find someone to go party with at least once, now that my night off is Tuesday which is Ladies Night (all of my girl friends here work Tuesday nights). It would have been awesome to see Cirque du Soleil or Carlos Santana or Lionel Richie. And there are no words to accurately describe how much I’ve missed going to fêtes!

This is like normal homesickness, mixed with the time zone adjustment, compounded with Carnival withdrawal and topped off with a more restrictive schedule than I’m used to (having one night off per week is pretty normal during a contract, but I’ve never been in a show that lasted half a year with no breaks before).
So for these and other reasons, get ready for a big party when I come back home!

Or at least a day of jogging, laundry, and making my own omelette for breakfast. :).

10 THINGS DUBAI HAS TAUGHT ME SO FAR

January 7, 2014learning, life, people, travel, Uncategorized, vlog, writingadvice, blog, Chattrisse, Dubai, growing up, life lessons, Top Ten, Top Ten TuesdayChattrisse

It’s Tuesday! And the first Tuesday of every month this year I will publish a Top Ten list of some sort. Let’s see how this goes …

Being away from home, especially when traveling solo and especially for long periods of time, provides an awesome opportunity to learn new things. Mind you, most are things you could have learned at home too, but sometimes it takes a new environment or a new experience for a lesson to really hit home. Here are a few that have found their way into my consciousness since I came to the UAE.

1. Language doesn’t have to be a barrier.

The UAE is officially an Arabic-speaking country, with English commonly used as the language of business. With roughly 80% of the population being expats from some other country, you can hear dozens of languages being spoken, including every accent and dialect of English imaginable. Knowing how long it took me to become even somewhat functional in the French language, I have so much admiration for people who have perfected or are learning English (which is a VERY difficult language to learn), and true respect for everyone who has ever packed up and moved to a place where their mother tongue is not commonly spoken.

This lesson has also taught me more about the power of music; the amount of people worldwide who know the lyrics to an iconic song by The Eagles or Bob Marley, even if they speak very little English, is mind-boggling.

2. You can miss someone even as you’re talking to or seeing them.

This one surprised me a bit — the last time I spent any significant amount of time away from home was in 2008, and I didn’t have Skype but I was physically close enough for about 10 of my family members to come visit me midway through the trip. I figured homesickness would be an obstacle during this Dubai gig, especially during the holidays, but sometimes it goes deeper than “I wish I could hear this person’s voice” and “I wish I could show them what I did today” … Sometimes, even as you’re looking at their face and hearing their voice and commenting on one another’s Facebook pictures, all you’re thinking is “I wish I could give this person a hug. Right now.”

Nothing beats in-person contact. Case in point: my godson.

Don’t get me wrong, Skype is awesome! But there really is something magical about being able to share the same physical space as a friend or family member. Makes me think I should plan some kind of big party when I get back to the T.Dot =)

3. Remain grateful.

Now is a good time for this reminder — there will always be something to complain about, and there will always be something to be grateful for. Focus on the latter (unless you want more things to complain about; then focus on those instead and watch them multiply.) Much more here than at home, I wake up and am immediately reminded that it’s a better use of my energy to focus on the many amazing things about my life, right now and in general, than the things that aren’t exactly to my liking. Especially when you don’t have to look too far to find someone who would gladly trade their troubles for yours (I blogged a bit about this here, at Christmastime).

In fact, it’s interesting to list some things that really stressed you out at one time in your life, now that you’ve reached a vantage point where you can see how unimportant those things really were. I had to stay in a hotel overnight in Montreal once on my way home from Haïti because the plane left Port-au-Prince too late to catch my connecting flight, and when I got there they wouldn’t let me use my dinner voucher … oh, boo hoo! It’s almost embarrassing now to remember how much I groaned and complained about that.

4. Go ahead, try a new dish.

Most of us love food, but lots of us are scared to eat something we’ve never eaten before, or something we find difficult to pronounce, or something we don’t know the name of at all. There are things on offer here that I don’t want and may never eat (like mussels … ew), but I’m proud to say I did start sampling new things right away. Like ful medames (pictured), and malva pudding, and millefeuille, and these little pastries with ground-up pistachio and sugar and cinnamon that are heavenly once I pick out the raisins with my fork.
You never know when you’ll get a chance again, so take a lot of chances.

5. Go ahead, try a new drink.

Whoa! Some people get really, really attached to their favourite cocktail or brand of beer. While I am not the worst example of this, I have always been a hardcore piña colada girl (just ask the bar staff in the lounge where I sing, they tease me about it weekly). And yet, the other day I was cajoled into trying something called a mint splash, a milky minty green cocktail that reminds me of the Shrek McFlurry at McDonald’s awhile back. Love it!

Not sure why all the images I’m seeing online are white or brown; mine was green =)

I also tried the newest drink offered by KFC in mall food courts out there: a mojito that has no liquor and tastes like a hybrid of Sprite a 7-Up with real mint leaves in the cup. Weird? Yes. And I didn’t really like it. But at least I tried it =)

6. It is acceptable, even admirable, to take a nap every day.

Back at home, my attitude toward naps was back and forth between “Naps are awesome and I totally deserve one today” and “Napping?! Who has time for that?!” But when I got here, jet lag kicked my butt and a nap a day became my new normal (sometimes 2; 9 hours ahead is no joke!).

Napping in the sun? Don’t mind if I do …

Besides, my main job here is to sing; just my luck, when I’m tired, you can hear it in my voice. Plus 6 nights of the week my shows wrap up around 12:30, with me often being too keyed up to go to sleep until 2am, and sleeping in would mean missing breakfast — so naps are imperative, no matter how much the more seasoned musicians tease me! Your schedule may not be as funny as this, but for real, if you aren’t making time to rest once in a while, you are doing a disservice to you and everyone involved with you or your work.

7. Establish a routine.

While we’re talking about daily naps, we might as well discuss other good dailies. I say aim for at least 3 things that you do every single day, without exception, which are helpful to you. 3 of mine are praying, doing my simple floor exercises, and writing something.

There have been times when my list of dailies exceeded 12 activities, and feeling like you’re your own drill sergeant can be kind of miserable sometimes, so I eased up a bit. But when you start with 3, it takes less time than you think to get into the routine of doing those 3 things every single day. Then you can start to add in more. Whatever your goal is, I am willing to bet that the people who have achieved it already did so by focusing on their daily activities, no matter how mundane it seemed at the time. Routine is important.

8. Dash it away once in awhile.

Because breaking from the routine is important too! That’s why there are vacations and PA days; veering away from the routine, for some needed rest or for something spontaneous and fun, is also necessary.

Being in a situation where I get one day off per week, I’ve been making the most of each day off. I laze around at the beach. Or I catch up on chores. Or I shop and sightsee and attempt to get into Tyrese Gibson’s birthday party and get home after 5am. (Yeah, that was a really good day off, lol!)

You know what they say about all work and no play … So change it up every now and then. =)

9. Whatever you wish, believe or have been told your area of work is, your primary business is connecting with people.

Honestly. Can you give massages better than anyone else in the world? No one will call you their favourite masseuse if you do so with a scowl or with dirty hands. Likewise, if your architect designed a gorgeous house but it was different from what you’d commissioned them to do, you might not be too happy about it.

Two of our awesome bar staff, Sumesh and Dony! I’m too much of an alcohol novice to comment on their bartending skills but I know they make the experience enjoyable! (This is them jumping up to Hot Hot Hot – made me so happy!)

All skills are important in pretty much every field of work, and that includes communication and other social skills; and I’m starting to realize how little of that was taught in school. When you throw language differences into the mix, it becomes even more important to connect and communicate with people.

10. Learn about yourself.

Have you noticed how many people seem to pride themselves on knowing a lot about someone else? Sometimes the someone else is a person who they will never even meet. For example, it worries me when a parent knows who all the celebrities are dating and marrying and divorcing this year, but is unaware of what’s going on in their own home. I really recommend taking the time to learn or rediscover things about yourself, whether you ever feel the need to share those discoveries with someone else or not. Here’s one thing I found about me: I am happy when people come together and sad when people separate. (Deep down I always knew that, but again, being here helps crystallize a few things.)

Jacuzzi journalling. I need to do this more often.

So there you have it! My first Top Ten Things blog of 2014. I’d love your feedback, either here or at www.facebook.com/chattrisse or www.twitter.com/chattrisse or even www.youtube.com/seechattrisse … And to be added to my mailing list, please send an email to chattrisse@gmail.com with MAILING LIST in the subject line. Bye for now!

Caribana 2013: Chattrisse’s Last Lap?

August 4, 2013celebration, learning, life, mas and carnival, peopleCaribana, carnival, Chattrisse, growing up, parade, party, soca, TorontoChattrisse

I spent a good part of this morning reflecting on what an awesome week I’m wrapping up. Lots and lots of high points, and the Caribana parade yesterday was one of them, but not #1 on the list — which was a little bit of a surprise for me.

Some background info for you: this was my 9th year playing mas here in Toronto and I, LOVE, Caribana. It’s helped me connect to my Caribbean roots, reunited me with people I rarely see, and (after my extreme shyness in my debut year) it’s provided me with a nice little boost of self-esteem.

with the homegirl Sabrina from Calgary!

But although the weather was nice, I was surrounded by soca, I felt good about how I looked, I was with friends all the way down the road and back, and I didn’t lose anything (how many masqueraders have painful memories of phones and cameras getting stolen or ruined en route?), it felt different. I felt different. I used to feel like playing mas in Toronto was the ONLY place for me to be on a Simcoe Day long weekend Saturday … and now I feel like that’s just one option.

It seemed like there were fewer spectators alongside the parade and it was weird to have none on the north side of the street for a good chunk of it; I don’t know how everyone else feels about the altered route this year, but I didn’t notice any improvements as far as wait time, organization, or the flow of vehicles and people.

Maybe the extra bodies I’m used to seeing on the other side of the fence were the people mashed up against me on the road. Listen, I know that the mingling of costumed masqueraders with everybody else is kind of a trademark of Toronto’s carnival, and full disclosure: I used to do it too! But it is really getting out of hand. If I am in a costume and you are not, and you’re asked to get out of my show area (my “stage”), leave. I’m there for you to look at, not to dance with. If I want to come hang out with you, text me to meet you at post #355 or wherever and we can make it happen. But when the music has to stop because of you, or the truck has to stop because of you, or the DJ is trying to explain nicely why you shouldn’t be here when he’d really rather cuss you out and so would I, you are messing up my experience. Gweh. Lots of pretty people in pretty costumes go outside the fences to get food or just to hang out, so no worries, it’s not like we’re completely inaccessible if that’s your issue.

There are lots of other external factors I could pick at … in fact I’m working on a Fetiquette blog post so stay tuned for that … but I realize it’s probably just me. I am (a) going through one of my moods, (b) outgrowing Caribana mas, or (c) both of the above. The mood swings, those are pretty par for the course and it has been an emotional spring/summer for me. Outgrowing things that you used to live and die for when you were young, I guess that’s normal too (even if it doesn’t always feel good). So I guess we’ll have to wait until next year to see whether Caribana 2013 was “de las lap” for me.

The two ladies on the ends, Fiorella and Jenny, are repping Saldenah (congrats for winning Band of the Year!) and Tiff and I are both with Carnival Nationz.

As of now, I’m still looking at doing something big to commemorate my tenth year (!) playing mas here at home. Maybe I’ll get a frontline costume. Maybe I’ll get body paint and a wire bra. Maybe I’ll get my own float. Or maybe I’ll get tickets for Trinidad Carnival from here on out.

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